What is a grey divorce?
A grey divorce refers to the separation or divorce of couples typically over the age of 50 or older, often after several decades together. Those who divorce later in life are also sometimes referred to as “silver splitters” or “diamond divorcees”.
Grey divorces can be complex, especially when it comes to issues such as adult children, retirement assets, estate planning, and spousal support considerations.
The rise of the grey divorce.
According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), the divorce rate for people aged 50 and above has doubled since the 1990’s. In 2021, approximately 15,000 individuals aged 60 and above got divorced, compared to just nearly 6,000 in 1991.
More recently, research by Legal & General (L&G) suggests that almost a third — 30% — of all divorces involve someone aged over 50.
What are the main reasons for grey divorce?
Factors that contribute to grey divorce include:
- Less tolerance for unpleasant behaviour in later years.
- Differences in lifestyle preferences or goals.
- When children leave home, couples may realise they no longer share common goals or interests, and decide that they do not want to spend their remaining years in an unhappy relationship.
- Seeking personal fulfilment outside of marriage.
- With longer life expectancy, it is no longer unusual for individuals in their 50s and 60s to seek personal happiness and new beginnings.
- Better and increased financial stability allows for decisions based on personal fulfilment rather than economic necessity.
- The introduction of no-fault divorce has made ending a relationship easier and more acceptable.
What issues are specific to grey divorce?
Divorce is difficult at any age, however divorcing in later life presents the following unique challenges:
Planning for retirement – The division of pensions, and long-term investments can be complex, potentially impacting both parties’ financial security in their later years.
Spousal support – For financially dependent spouses such as those who have never worked or stayed at home to raise the children, the issue of spousal maintenance during a grey divorce is highly relevant. Courts may order spousal maintenance based on factors like need, the recipient’s ability to financially support themselves, and the other spouse’s capacity to pay spousal maintenance.
Health issues – Many couples have joint private health insurance. Losing coverage on a spouse’s plan is a factor that should be taken into account, together with the cost of obtain new health insurance coverage.
Long term care – Older couples need to consider potential long-term care needs and associated costs, especially if they have health conditions or disabilities.
Adult children living at home – With many young adults being unable to afford to rent or purchase their first home, more and more adult children are remaining at home with their parents. What happens if their parents are divorcing?
An adult child living at home typically does not have significant rights in a divorce. The law does not impose an ongoing obligation on parents to maintain their adult child or provide a home for them beyond the age of 18, except in specific circumstances such as when the child has a disability and cannot live independently, or remains in education.
Housing needs and mortgage capacity – While there is no legal maximum age limit for mortgage applicants in the United Kingdom, many lenders impose their own rules. Some lenders, like Barclays, stipulate a maximum age of 70 for the end of the mortgage term. This is a factor that must be taken into account when divorcing in later life.
Things to do when divorcing later in life.
Grey divorce can be scary and challenging, but there are steps you can take to make the change easier.
- Obtain current transfer values for all pensions, and take professional advice as to how divorce will affect you as a single person. A court will also look closely at both party’s pensions, and how they should be divided. A court will want to ensure both parties have adequate resources for retirement and financial security in their retirement years.
- Consider future housing needs and your ability to qualify for a mortgage, as age may affect terms.
- Consider working with a financial advisor and/ or a mortgage advisor to understand the long-term implications of asset division. You should also seek professional advice on your employment status, earning capacity and mortgage capacity. A court recognises that a person in their mid 50’s has fewer working years ahead to rebuild their finances or advance their career.
- Obtain property particulars to understand your housing and capital requirements upon divorce.
- Obtain estimates for private health insurance or long-term care. Don’t forget to factor in any health conditions or future care needs when negotiating a financial settlement.
- Prepare a realistic Schedule of current and future income and outgoings. Do you have sufficient income to meet your outgoings and needs?
- Update your Will after separation to reflect your new circumstances.
- If the matrimonial home is held as Joint Tenants, consider severing the Joint Tenancy and creating a Tenancy in Common. This prevents your spouse from automatically receiving your share of the property in the event of your death before a divorce is finalised. The deceased’s share will then pass according to their Will or intestacy rules.
- Prepare a statement and obtain evidence of the standard of living enjoyed during the marriage.
Alternatives to divorce for older couples
A silent divorce
A silent divorce is essentially when a couple continues to live together in the same house, but have limited interaction, and live entirely separate lives. Silent divorces are a quieter form of separation which often maintain the appearance of a marriage, whilst in reality the couple are emotionally and psychologically separated. A silent divorce may provide a viable alternative to divorce for older couples experiencing grey divorce.
A silent divorce allows couples to preserve the family home, joint investments, retirement benefits, and manage debt more effectively together.
Legal Separation (also known as Judicial Separation).
A legal separation is an alternative court process to divorce. It is a separation sanctioned by a Court once the Judicial Separation Order is made.
It legally formalises a couple’s separation which allows them to separate and live apart, without divorcing. A legal separation also allows a couple to separate their finances and apply to the Court for financial orders.
Crucially unlike divorce, an individual does not have to state that their marriage has irretrievably broken down in order to legally separate. A couple simply need to state that they seek a judicial separation. This is important for couples who do not believe in divorce, do not wish to divorce, or believe the relationship to have completely broken down.
No split divorce
A no split divorce is the opposite to a silent divorce. It involves the couple amicably ending their marriage, finalising financial matters as part of the divorce, but remain living under the same roof with the children.
No split divorces are becoming more common in grey divorce as couples find they do not want to disrupt their stability.
The benefit of a no split divorce is that both parties have financial security as finances are resolved such as the sharing of pensions and division of assets, but both parties are housed under the same roof, and lead separate lives.