Strategies to deal with a counter-parent.

A counter-parent is a parent who deliberately undermines and manipulates the other parent’s parenting style in an attempt to maintain control. They prioritise their own needs over the well-being of their child.

Counter parenting is often carried out by narcissistic individuals who hold hostility following the end of a relationship. A counter-parent can be managed by adopting the following strategies:

Be the emotionally healthy parent. Remain composed and focus on your child’s needs.

Don’t try to “win” against the counter-parent. Keep your distance and avoid being drawn into conflict.

Use parenting apps to limit direct communication, track schedules, and record agreements. This holds the counter-parent accountable, and provides independent proof if you need to go to court.

Adopt parallel parenting rather than co-parenting by establishing clear boundaries and limited contact with the hostile parent.

Document everything by written forms of communication such as emails. Avoid phone calls or in-person meetings where the counter-parent may try to bully and manipulate the situation.