How narcissists use children to coerce and control.

Narcissists frequently use children as tools to exert power and control over their victims, both during, and after a relationship has ended. Common tactics used by narcissists include:

A narcissist will often threaten to remove a child from the care of their victim, or say the victim will never see the child again if they try to leave the relationship.

After a relationship has ended, the narcissist may use contact arrangements to continue to exert dominance and control. This could include making last-minute changes to agreed contact schedules to disrupt the victim’s plans, or refusing to cooperate with co-parenting issues.

The narcissist may try to turn the child against the victim by bad-mouthing or blaming the other parent for the family split, telling lies, or presenting themselves as the better parent.

The narcissist may discuss inappropriate adult matters with the child, or pressure the child to report on the other parents activities.

A narcissist may portray themselves as victims to elicit sympathy from their child, or place the child in the position where they feel compelled to care for the narcissistic parents emotional needs.

All of these behaviours are not only manipulative, but deeply damaging psychologically to both the child and the other parent.